Christ Never Showed Up

Tim Kirk

Joe is sixteen years old and the star of his church's puppet play team. Then he gets hit by a bus and has emergency surgery, but he's not worried -- his hero will meet him at the Pearly Gates. Nope. Too lazy. Back among the living, Joe sets out to break every rule, commit every sin, and watch John Candy movies. His journey takes him to LA where he seeks the guidance of an incarcerated former puppet play master, meets a pretty Goth and her friends at Forest Lawn, drives a taco truck, becomes a viral sensation and hangs out with Jimmy Caan!


“I first met Joe McPuppet at the dawn of the 21st Century: he was one pseudonym among many trolling a nearly invisible Christian puppet play website. His story could only be inferred through the action of the plays he wrote, which feels like an obscure way to convey one's pain: but Joe's was hard to miss.
It sounds hyperbolic to say this, but few characters in contemporary fiction can boast Joe's depth. Hilarious and tragic, Joe is a character I've held closely for twenty years. It's a real pleasure to know that the rest of the world will get to know him, too. ”
John Darnielle (author and musician)

“Not just a book about a ventriloquist but an extraordinary performance by one, as Tim Kirk expertly channels the voice of Joe McClain, a lonely small town innocent adrift in the wilderness of Hollywood.” Rodney Ascher (Glitch In The Matrix)

Christ Never Showed Up! is the first book that gave me a concussion that wasn't thrown at my head. A kid getting hit by a bus is the most mundane event in the book and it literally happens before you know what's happening. Tim Kirk stomps his puppet foot on the gas pedal and never takes it off.” Gerry Duggan (Deadpool)

“Joe McPuppet’s fearless tale for biblical truth is one of the greatest road trips committed to publication. Every page falls just short of a train wreck, but there you are rooting for him like you did reading of Fante's alter-ego, Arturo Bandini. Fans of outsider art will undoubtedly connect with this gem of a story. It might even inspire a spiritual road trip.” Rob Zabrecky (artist and musician)

Tim Kirk is a writer and filmmaker whose puppet plays have lit up the internet. He is the author of The Feral Boy Who Lives in Griffith Park and the Western novel Burnt. His films include Sex Madness Revealed, The Mystery of Durango, and the faux audio commentary Director's Commentary: Terror of Frankenstein. He has produced Room 237, The Nightmare, And With Him Came The West, A Glitch in the Matrix and The El Duce Tapes.